It’s a personal post, you guys. Yup, these are pretty rare here on SBB, which is something I am kind of ambivalent about (because you just come here to read about weddings… right?) but at the same time, me and this post have been wrestling nacho libre style for a couple of weeks now, and it’s time. And don’t worry, because I am totally going to circle back to wedding planning, so hang in there, even if you are all “shut up Gaby, we don’t want to know about your life”. Also, in case you think any of this is a preamble to telling you I am done with the blog, you can relax right now. No chance.
Anyway, so as I say, I have been trying to write this for a while. In fact, since our one year SBB blogiversary at the start of the month (which was actually my three year blogiversary, if you don’t include the brand change). I had a post all planned that was all about the highlights of the last three years, and all happy and positive and we’re going places baby, and then on that very morning, I got an email from a friend first thing saying: um, your site’s not working. Well, that was a lesson in humility. At first, while I tried to get to the bottom of the major site-crashing problem of the code (it still makes me laugh that I can even do this), I was in full-on panic mode (OMG they’ll all stop reading!). And that wasn’t all that was going on, because at the same time, our landlady gave notice on our house, so I had to start making some big decisions about the next few months. After all, when you work from home, your home isn’t just the place you lay your head, it’s your whole life. Oh, and I got ill. So there I was fire fighting and stressing and coughing and trying to get things done. And then a funny thing happened, pretty much around the time I got a whole lot of it sorted out. A weird kind of apathy. And there was my inbox filling up and posts not getting written, and all I wanted to do was hide in my bed or do just about anything else but think about weddings.
Lucky for me, I know this old feeling well. I’m a massive perfectionist, which is another way of saying I run a little bit on the wrong side of crazy. Perfectionism is the WORST. Because it means that when you do something less than perfectly, you spend a long time feeling guilty about it. Or you fear doing it at all, and it becomes this huge scary mountain to climb. It is such a waste of energy. You never stop, you never switch off, and sometimes, you sort of burn out a bit. So I spoke to my boss (me) and my HR Director (also me) and we all agreed I should take a couple of days off, and get myself a fresh perspective. Take some time to remember why I do what I do. Which is exactly what I have been doing. It totally worked, so we’ll be back to normal tomorrow.
But here’s why I wanted to share this with y’all. Right when I was in the middle of feeling stuck, I realised that this is something that just about every bride tells me she feels too. There’s a moment in the wedding planning process where it all just becomes completely overwhelming, and where you start worrying that even after the many hours you’ve spend folding paper cranes or going Pinterest crazy or researching every service provider on your list, it isn’t going to go the way you planned. That what it looks like in your head may not pull together to be something that looks like it belongs in a wedding magazine, but rather something weird and tacky and disjointed. And that’s the moment where you have to take a step back. Remember what it’s all about, spend some time with your fiance, switch off Pinterest and even (yes, I said it) stop reading your favourite blogs for a couple of weeks. When you go back to it, you’ll realise that you were worrying for nothing. But it’s okay to admit that you can’t always hold down a full-time job and be your own Martha Stewart wedding planner all the time.
So that’s why I wanted to share this quote with you today. Whatever it is in your life that’s begun to feel scary and unmanageable. Start where you are. (Seriously, begin anywhere.) Use what you have. Do what you can. Take a breath, and stop letting an idea of perfection hold you back.
Oh, and if I owe you an email, it’s coming. Please don’t shout at me. ;)